Even though there is no cure-all for a broken heart, and moving on will be hard no matter what, here are 10 things you can do to help yourself stay on-track after a breakup
Breaking up is never easy, no matter who ended the relationship. It’s easy to find yourself falling into bad habits or trying to get back into the relationship you just left.
Although these are normal impulses, it is important to make sure you are taking care of yourself both physically and mentally while you’re going through such a hard time.
Vulnerability can lead to decisions you wouldn’t have normally made and might regret later. So here’s a healthy list of things you can do to celebrate singledom and be ready for the next lucky person who comes into your life.
Let Yourself Be Sad
Going through a breakup is hard. It is okay to feel sad, and in order to fully move on you need to process the emotions you are feeling. Taking some time to think about your feelings and learn how to best process them will help you move on more quickly.
Speaking to close friends about any anger, sadness, or nostalgia you’re feeling can be a great way to sort out your feelings and think of ways to keep on the positive side. Spending some time alone is also important to help process things.
Take your Space
Although it’s tempting to message the person you’ve just broken up with, this is generally not a good idea. Neither person has had time to process complex, deep emotions, so the conversation may not be a positive one.
On top of that, reaching out to your ex will prevent you from moving on. This is probably one of the hardest things to do, but it is also the most important.
Finding a friend or family member who you can speak to when you feel the urge to talk to your old partner can help, and will give you a great opportunity to speak about how you’re feeling.
Start a New Hobby
When a relationship is over, not only does someone close to you leave your life, but a lot of new free time comes up.
This new time is a great opportunity to pick up a new hobby or activity you were interested in doing before but didn’t have the time or energy.
Learning a new skill or picking up an old interest and building old skills will give you a new focus and help you develop yourself.
Keep a Journal
Talking about your feelings and giving yourself time can be helpful, but sometimes writing things out can give you more clarity.
Remembering how you felt, the lessons you learned, and having a record of the positive and negative things you remember from your past relationship can help you know what you want out of one in the future. It can also remind future you of what worked and what didn’t while you were moving on.
Keeping yourself focused on developing you during this time is important. When you set small goals, like exercising a few times a week or acing the next exam, you can focus on what’s going on in the present and have an opportunity to celebrate small victories.
Whenever you go through a difficult emotional period, it wears out your mind and your body. Reward yourself with something positive, whether that is some comfort food (chocolate!) or taking a day to do something you find relaxing (spa!), treating yourself can give you some relief.
Indulge yourself, yes, but don’t let indulgence become the norm. Moving on is easier if you feel good physically and mentally.
Eating healthy foods that give you energy, sleeping enough (but not too much), and staying active will keep you in the right state of mind to deal with the breakup.
Switch up Your Room
A lot of the time, a certain space, smell, or image can remind you of the person you’ve just broken up with and trigger negative emotions.
These negative emotions are important, but making sure the space you’re in allows your mind to focus on something else will also make dealing with things easier.
Sometimes reorganising or redecorating can help you feel positive about your new beginning and give you a space you feel comfortable in to retreat to when things get hard.
Switch up Your Look
Breaking up does not mean you need to change anything about who you are or how you look, but sometimes a fun change can help you transition, kind of like re-decorating can.
I always like to get a risky haircut I have been thinking about getting for a while just to switch things up. It can make you feel good about yourself and give you back some control in a positive way.
Find the Positives
It’s a totally natural impulse we all have to start finding your own faults and your ex’s faults right after a breakup. Some of that is OK, but it doesn’t usually end up helping anyone or making you feel any better. Reminding yourself of your strong points and finding ways to bring them out in your day-to-day life can be really empowering.
Also, a few months after things end when you have had enough distance from the breakup, remembering what worked in the past relationship can help you sort out what you want from future ones and will leave you with some positive memories.