Fumble Talks: Facebook Relationships

Sometimes when you’re in love, you just want to shout it to the world. And that’s lovely – but what are the ups and downs of doing it via Facebook? We asked people for their experiences of being In a Relationship, and here’s what they told us:


Being Facebook Official

I was Facebook Official with my first boyfriend when we were 17. When we had to publicly declare that we had split up, everyone assumed I was the one who had been chucked. I wasn’t.


When I was single and so desperately wanted guys to hit on me, I’d put ‘single’ to let them know “hey, I’m available – give me attention. On the other hand, there were times when I was dating someone and I would hide my relationship status.


A girlfriend insisted on me doing it.


I was one of the first people in my friendship group to get a boyfriend, and I think I basically wanted the world to know I was going to get laid.



The good….

Honestly, the attention I got from other people on Facebook the minute I referenced our relationship even in the vaguest terms was satisfying.


It prevented any ‘crossfire’, at social events. She was not flirted with, neither was I, neither of us was asked out etc. I would hesitate to call that enjoyment though, it was more of a logistics thing.


People commenting saying how ‘cute’ you are or how happy they are for you. I guess you think the amount of likes = how many people like the fact that you’re together. Bit tragic really.

The bad….  

She got super attached to the idea and wouldn’t speak to me whenever I asked if we could get rid of it.


When someone updates their relationship status to single, what does a ‘like’ mean? Does it mean ‘sorry to hear, call me if you need to,’ or does it mean ‘FINALLY… God, she was AWFUL. Now let’s go find you a new vagina to fit into.’


The split was super awkward. I did almost get a free trip to London and a shopping spree off the back of it, but felt slightly disingenuous accepting when my older, sophisticated cousin clearly thought I needed spoiling and I didn’t.


….And the ugly

Don’t passive-aggressively post a status directed at your other half in order to have all your friends go “Awwww hun what’s up.” THEN don’t mournfully reply “ill inbox u”. All this does is make me wish more marital unhappiness down upon you.


My main pet peeve is long public conversations via a photo or a status or whatever just like: ‘I love you baby’. ‘I love you more.’ ‘Shut up, you’re my world.’ ‘You’re my universe. I can’t wait for later.’ And on and on and on. Until the end of time.


WHEN COUPLES MAKE JOINT ACCOUNTS. WTF. Two people cannot have one FB account. What’s wrong with you. Do you guys not live separate lives. Or do you want everyone to think of you as one entity.


One particular teenage couple used to write on each others walls in-between adding photos of themselves sat next to each other. It drove me mad. Then they broke up.

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