Navigating The “Post-Sex Blues”

There’s still some serious science going on inside your body after you’ve finished having sex

So, you’ve just had sex.

You and your partner are lying there, somewhere between naked and partially clothed. Maybe there’s a bedsheet on one of you, or maybe there’s not. You should be feeling pretty happy right now, right? Well, no, not necessarily.

Amid all the possible excitement, physical exertion and flashes of skin, there’s a part of sex which is easy to ignore and which isn’t often talked about.

It’s called the “post-sex blues”.

The Post-Sex What?!

Yup, the post-sex blues.

There’s a medical term for it too.

Well, there’s two in fact.

Post-coital tristesse (PCT) or post-coital dysphoria (PCD). That’s right, there’s some Latin and some French thrown in there to give it a more international feel. These guys have studied it too.

Before you get concerned, however, don’t be. There’s no need. It’s COMPLETELY normal, and millions of people experience it – they might just not talk about it.

What Does It All Mean?

It doesn’t necessarily mean anything.

However, it could also mean one, or a combination of the following:

  • You weren’t ready for it, which is ok.
  • It wasn’t with the right person, which is ok.
  • It’s not like you’ve seen it on films/TV/porn, which is ok.
  • The moment has passed and you’re wondering whether you’ll ever get to experience it again, which is ok.
  • There’s some serious science going on inside your body in the lead up to, during, and after sex (see below). Oh and that’s ok too – after all, you can’t really control that either.
The SCIENCE Bit

While you’re busy having sex there’s a lot of things going on inside your body.

Your hormones are exploding – endorphins, oxytocin, prolactin, all of them. They’re all getting as active as you are. But unlike you, these hormones will keep rushing around even once you’ve stopped having sex. They don’t just want to roll over and take a little rest.

When you’re in the moment and bonding with your partner, you probably won’t notice them whizzing around inside of you. But once it’s over, once you’ve finished, you’ve ejaculated or come, you might realise that your body feels a bit different. And you’d be right to think so.

Like everything in life, what goes up most come down. And it’s the same for sex.

Sex is a physical, psychological, and emotional – it’s all linked! It’s a moment of heightened intimacy and intensity and when that connection with your partner is broken, it’s perfectly natural that you would feel a little ‘blue’ about it.

That might be in the form of anxiety, a feeling of isolation, or even a taster of depression. But don’t worry, it’ll pass, those feelings aren’t permanent. Instead think of them as a wonderful opportunity to reflect on sexual experiences and how they make our bodies feel.

After sex your body wants to talk to you, so listen to it!

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