The first thing to remember when you’re worrying about the size of your penis is, and I can’t stress this enough, nobody has ever, or will ever, think about the size of your penis as much as you.
Having said that, it’s totally normal to worry about your penis; what if it’s too small, too big, too hairy, or even too curvy? Roughly half of guys are worried that they have a small penis… but why are we so obsessed?
Two things are likely to blame:
1. The majority of straight males only see other penises when they’re watching porn, and Ron Jeremy’s dong is not representative of the male population.
2. Our penises look smaller to us than they really are because we’re looking down at them. If you’re looking for an ego boost, shave your pubes, get an erection, stand side-on to your bathroom mirror, and question the life choices that brought you to this moment.
If you’re reading this, it’s likely you’re worried about having a small penis. But in order to be worried about being small, shouldn’t you know what average is? You may have seen the odd study on Facebook with a list of countries ranked by penis size, or some research paper revealing the average girth of males from some random town in Cornwall.
I’ve looked into these studies; almost all of them are the scientific equivalent of sharing a twitter poll. Even the NHS Choices page on penis size gives figures for the length and circumference of the average penis, but references a study that has with serious problems with its data.
In short, the size of the average penis has escaped many a dedicated researcher. Maybe one day we’ll have an answer, but until then if you’re worried that you’re small you’re basing that largely on guesswork.
Maybe it’s better to be concerned with the person you’re sleeping with, or perhaps hoping to sleep with. In the same way that penises vary in shape and size, vaginas do too. And attached to those vaginas are women who have a really wide range of penile preferences. Some may have a predilection for footlongs, while others love nothing more than a chode – but either way, the chances are most of them care more about the person than the penis.
In fact, studies have shown that when women are shown a penis and are then asked to pick it out of a line-up, most of them pick the wrong one, indicating that it really isn’t that big a deal for them.
Still not convinced that nobody cares about the size of your lad? Think of it this way; how many times have you wanted to sleep with a girl because you reckon she has a really great vagina? Probably never, because that’s not how most people choose sexual partners.
How many times have you stopped having sex with someone because their vagina was the wrong size? Again, probably never.
So why are we so hung up on penis size?
Here’s the bottom line when it comes to the size of your penis; there’s very little you can do about it, and it probably doesn’t matter anyway. Even if you are cripplingly worried about the size of your penis (and considering the lack of data, you’ve really shouldn’t be), by the time that special someone eyes up your goods you’re both probably too busy ripping each other’s clothes off for them to whip out a tape measure.
Own what you’ve got, have a good time, and the rest will come.